You said that you were going to go back and edit. Don't. This is perfect. The images and feelings the story evokes are astounding. I was literally speechless when I finished. That was very deep. I know no one likes those reviews that give no critisism but I honestly have nothing to contribute that will make the story better.
whatsit 2006-08-28 . chapter 1
I loved this. It's so dark and beautiful. And the descriptions are amazing, it was a bit confusing in the beginning but I've honestly never read anything like this before.