Your words seem made to be read aloud. This has a steady, slow, and smooth quality, very much in contrast to your "Violent Fall." This is a style that I don't usually find myself very much drawn to, but your clean rhythms and touch for setting off the familiar and the unthought at the same time make the reading more than worthwhile. I'm very drawn in. Love "sending kisses to the sea" and the wonderful image it implants in the mind.

I really liked this poem.

As a general rule of thumb, either rhyme or don't. In this case the places where your rhyme scheme failed aren't fatal because your rhythm is very good throughout.

So whimsy and beautiful. It is original.