The sad thing is, people actually do this every day.

I cannot see sense as to why someone would want to take their own life. Their lives must be VERY bad for them to go to that extreme.

But it's not that hard to prevent it, really. Just show people the kindness you would like people to show you. A friendly "Hello", or a wave or something.

I have no idea what I'd do if a family member or friend took their life ...

Good job.

Oh suicide.
You probably wrote this in such a childish fashion (evidence of this is in the last line) because you probably look down on it. Perhaps it's not so much a childish fashion as a mocking one, I'm not even sure myself. However, I do know that the act has every bit as much of an impact on the speaker as the state of mind which justifies suicide.

I think this poem could be rewritten if you want to identify more with those who've tried it, or you can simply leave it as is if you want to mock it. Personally, though, I'd get rid of all your end stops because your thoughts really start to run together when you're dying, rather than having distinct breaks between them.

- ss.

The idea of suicide without fear seems unreal to me. It just seems a little mechanical, aside from the rejuvination experienced by the character just before her death.

i think this was a great poem overall but i noticed that you didnt get to the point quite that well. i love the vision and the feeling i got from this poem just try to get the point across without making it seem like your really trying. do you get what im saying? im not trying to be mean though lol. you seem like a wonderful writter as do you reviews prove to be so. ^.^
just thought that id drop by some hints is all.

ttyl

lost.in.a.lullaby

Wow, great work, very nice flow, good voice. Keep up the great work.

ripley

It's not bad but then again I've never been crazy for poems. lol.

I'm planning to write a story with the events leading to girl's suicide and her suicide notes. Please read it when I actually write it. lol.

One question though. What made you open my story even when there wasnt even a description?

Wow, this is very descriptive. I love your choice of words for this piece, it's very good. "Death standing next to you" Though it wasnt physically visual, I could still see the words and the scene play out. Again, I really like this.

I can't believe people fantasize and write about suicide so much... It just sounds so hopeless. But I guess its supposed to.

The poem itself is ok. The subject of suicide, though, has been presented many times over and over in similar ways like this. I'd have to say, try looking at suicide a little differently. Matter of fact, look at all common topics like this in as many perspectives as you can until you find you know exactly how to present it. It's a good, clean poem. It's missing something. Something that shows that it's your own work instead of an echo from the long halls of poetic suicide. You have potential, keep it going!