Interesting story. I enjoyed reading it. There were some minor mistakes I found, but still it's good.

One small correction: In the sentence "...reminding me of the her presence." I believe "the" should be omitted.

Also, in the sentence "She had a round face was framed with dark hair..." I believe "that" should be between face and was.

Sorry if it seems like I'm nitpicking on the small errors, but I just want to let you know.

During the part where the main character is describing the dream, I could suggest you could put description (for imagery) about the dream (the colors, the sound of the screams to show how it's a nightmare).

One small correction: The sentence "I saw see wetness spread slowly on his pants." I believe "see" should be omitted.

So far this is interesting. And the showing of what's happening was nicely written.

Small corrections: In the sentence "...if I kept still and not breath..." breathe is misspelled. Also, in the sentence "...and limp towards castle." I believe there should be "the" between towards and castle (unless you intended it to be that way).

Good start. I like the characterization of the mother. There are some parts where I can suggest that you show rather than tell (ex: "Mother drummed her fingers on the arm of the throne impatiently. She growled." Maybe you could show description of her body language and facial features to show the readers that she is impatient and that she growled).

One small correction: In the sentence "...nearly falling in as the pushed the doors." "the" should be "they"

Congratulations on finishing this story ! That is a feat onto itself to be able to finish something that is . This story has been a true pleasure to read from the very beggining to the very end . Will has always been such a great character and ever since Ryn has came into the story so has she (I really do adore her) and of course the Mother, evil ** that she is , is an awesume character .
The ending was cute and is there going to be a sequeal ? If so that would be awesume ! And if not it is a good ending of it entirely .
Once again congratulations on finishing !
M.R.Sanner

That was sweet, but surely it can't end there!

Oh my God it's done :( that's so sad... I can't believe I've been gone so long that everyone has finished their stories! It was amazing and I hope to see more from you soon!

I've updated Chasing Princes with and EXTRA long chapter, if you'd like to read!

Kayla Christine

I like where this is going. It is very twisted and intriguing. Your words flow well, and I don't have anything to suggest except maybe using more of the vast vocabulary you have. Good job!
Tris

Once again, a stunning installment.
The twists just keep coming, and I love how the story is progressing. There's the tiniest tease of a romance between Ryn and Will, Phil is at once dysfunctional and normal, and the Queen...
Well, all that to say - you're an amazing writer and I look forward to the next chapter.

omg, so frickin good!
it's nice to kno how important will is to Phil, but the fact that Phil has gone crazy is...sad. or, maybe it's just a side effect of the potion...hm,i guess only you kno for now
well, anyway, ur an amazing author, please keep updating!

Oh, my goodness!
So, I'm guessing that the queen has been giving Phil a potion to make him think that Will is there...no wonder he's alright with the whole wedding thing - he thinks that his brother's gonna help him out of the mess!
0.0
Nice twist.
Can't wait until the next chapter!

Sounds like me. I wanted to get Part IV of Bane of Rendsberg to the poitn where they are at the festival before the actual date . . . March 23.

Oh well, to the chapter. A lot of suspense going on here. I wonder how long before the Queen catches up to the spy, and what will Will do. Sling Phil over his shoulder and run, and hope that his elven friends can help him. It does make you wonder what the Queen has been up to!

whoopee! another chapter!!

Yeah, Phil was a bit off, but he's not the brightest bit either. Would he have truly thought about telling his mother such a lie as searching for his father.

As for the bard, he's still entertaining. I would have thought that there would be more to do about him admitting to having seen William . . . like Ryn smacking him in the head when they were in the clear . . . then again, the weirdness stems from Phil not pursuing the issue further.