Hmm, a fair essay. You got your points across, however, it seemed like you were just spewing out statistics with slight commentary.

I think you should have elaborated more on the future effects that all the violence, sexual content, etc that T.V. has on children. Example: You could have talked about obesity and the serious health effects. As well with violence, perhaps on how it makes them accept it as the norm and possibly engage in criminal acts.

Good beginning though.