|Reviews for Fatherly Love|
| under the influence 9/19/06 . chapter 41
Yup...reading the previous chapter definitely helped...lol
I like the changes you made...:)
| Rayne Logan 9/19/06 . chapter 41
Hehe. Humour is always good. _
Great chapter. But the whole supernatural thing makes it seem as though I'm reading the Vamp story... xD
| Emmaee 9/19/06 . chapter 40
hey loved the story. wats with the end, are u goin to continue? i loved the story. Emma-Leigh
| Roadside Dryer 9/18/06 . chapter 6
It's still really good. Keep going, or well, I guess I will. Good Job.
| Roadside Dryer 9/18/06 . chapter 4
God this is so addicting...
| Sophie Ulquiorra Allen 9/18/06 . chapter 40
Ooh, getting better and better! Keep writing! :)
| Rayne Logan 9/18/06 . chapter 39
oh my god
| under the influence 9/17/06 . chapter 37
hm...I for some reason was expecting this...
by the way, I hope my email didn't offend you...and I'd like to see the pics.
| Allison Smith 9/17/06 . chapter 37
I'm going to cry
omg. Jacob needs to know
is she all alone right now? that's SO not good.
| The Breakdancing Ninja 9/17/06 . chapter 5
It's cool that Grace wants to be a children's books author. Bill is pretty mature, he looks like he could be a psychologist.
It's weird that Jacob is still a virgin, especially with how much he fools around, but it happens. I just think that it's more a product of the author's idealism than it is from realism, but I'll let it slide only because I think Jacob as the authentic potential of being a true celibate.
Bill's really cool. I hope the story doesn't cop out and do something really nasty to Bill, like make him a predator. So it would make it easier for Grace to run to Jacob-man, I hope it doesn't do that.
And Grace's character looks more like a Carla to me. She also looks like someone who would work in a bakery. She's such a lovable nerd. XD!
I think I'll take a break for today and come back tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. I owe a really heavy review for someone else's story, I just needed a small break away though.
Maybe you'll come and take a look at one of my two stories. That would be nice. XD;;
Rock on, Jenny.
| The Breakdancing Ninja 9/17/06 . chapter 4
Haha. The author's note is reassuring.
I like Jacob, and how he laughs when he makes mistakes while playing.
Grace is funny, the way she continually bashes him in her head-DENIAL. First sign. These chapters are so easy to read.
I really like the relationship between Penny and Grace, because they really seem to love and care about each other, unlike other stories with betrayal and all sorts of inconsiderate actions taken on the part of best friends who should be caring about each other.
The descriptions are exquisite and right on. I would like to know a bit more about Tara-not her physical features, but what she's like. So I could get an inference on why Jacob loves her so much. that would be nice.
This has been really good read so far.
| The Breakdancing Ninja 9/17/06 . chapter 3
[“None of your damn business, Eric.” Eric always had been a nosey mother, and Jacob had punched his lights out more than once for his snooping, but the idiot still hadn’t learned his lesson.] LOL! this was classic. o man, XD!
[“whereabouts”,] Gilee7 chewed me out on this one. In stories, punctuation goes in the quotes even if it's not dialogue.
I thought in ch.1 Grace had golden curls? Why does he call her a "redhead"?
[They’d never had… a connection.] Maybe this is the real reason he drinks. Because he's lonely-man, especially when the two people in the whole world, who should be the ones to love you unconditionally don't, that's hella lonely.
[There was no doubt she could turn him on, but he’d never resort to something as deplorable as rape, if that’s what she’d been afraid of.] Why does he think of rape? Why not thinking that she's been in a series of bad relationships, or that he might resemble an ex? I think those are more normal conjectures-I don't know about rape though.
I like Jacob's band members. XD!
A nice, short chapter with good background. Also provides a lot of good character fleshing-out.
| The Breakdancing Ninja 9/17/06 . chapter 2
It's usually best to spell out numbers if they're under a hundred, and also, to stay away from approximate height values-I guess it's because it's easy for me to envision my version of short in relation to your version of short if you said, "She was short." than it is for me to imagine what 5'9" is.
[She was a little thick, in her opinion, and thought she could loose about ten pounds, but why do that?] *lose.
I like the insight that the man has about her wearing too many layers of clothing. You characterize her paranoia really well. And I like how she isn't a skinny super model or any of that, but a normal woman who happens to be a "little thick".
I guess the pain of knowing your daughter was violated by a man beyond her consent is emotionally unbearable-as if the mom detaches herself as not to feel the pain empathetically.
[He reached out to all of them with equal zeal. A lot like Jesus, she thought.] haha.
Uh-oh, Grace, watch out. He's a priest. XD! This reminds me of this really good book I read just a little while ago: "The Mermaid Chair".
The character and setting exposition for this story is great. The rape was adressed with a lot of taste and candor.
I like Bill. But I don't know, I have a bad feeling.
[She’d lead herself to believe that he did love her,] *led.
It's weird how this 13 year old girl is calling a 50 year old priest by his first name, and not even "Father Mark". Not to say it doesn't happen, but it's just weird.
O man, that rape scene was freaky. You have a good story going on here. I just feel sort of embarrassed reading it. XD;;
| The Breakdancing Ninja 9/17/06 . chapter 1
This was nothing short of provacative. The narration is rich with a delicate touch, lightly settling with its imagery as if it's all a haze-the only thing that isn't elusive are the feelings: of grandeur, of recklessness, guilt, fear. I also liked the interposition of his thoughts. It's strange how we could read about his past life and his tentative life, how he could go from being a rockstar god (or on his way to becoming one) to a priest. His humility is a striking quality that a lot of men don't have in stories. That, and brains. He's very insightful, and I pity him.
Tara will now serve the role as his own personal holy spirit. This story snagged me in. I'll see how much I could read today.
| Sophie Ulquiorra Allen 9/17/06 . chapter 39
I thought that the ending was a little rushed, and a little sappy. Maybe revise it? I didn't get the picture, maybe you could send it as an attachment?