I don't know what your exact assignment was, but I think you've focussed too much on your opinions of the book, and not the book itself. The paragraph where you compare your high school to the book's is what made me think this way. I think that you should take some of your phrases and change them, use a thesarus for a stronger vocabulary, make sure you proof read all of your paragraphs, and keep from opening every sentence with "I"

Other than that, I'd like to say that I loved your use of detail, and your essay has a lot of potential. I'd give you a B or so.