Haha! That was so funny at the end there!

Really Good and NICELY written. There weren't any spelling mistakes and Grammer was good which made it nice to read :D

The word choice was good too and sophisticated.

I can't say that I have any real advice except that maybe you could try for smaller paragraphs? Cuz I found myself skimming some of the really descriptive/narrative paragraphs ( I blame the tiny print and the fact that its 2:00 in the morning!)

Anyways...Great story! Luv it!

plz review my story/poems back :)

-Dreamforever101