Agent Firefly
2006-08-31
ch 1,  | abuseI like the description you added to intensify the man's memory of his daughter. "She loved dolls, and her second grade teacher, coloring books, and shoes, and to dance and sing." Listing the innocent little-girl things that she loves to do gives her character a glowing, happy quality that contrasts steeply to her father's grief and regret. Also, I still like how you left some key parts of the story unsaid until the "News Special" at the end. It ties up the story and makes it more rich than if those events had remained vague. Great job! |
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