Amazing. I can't even start to explain how wide my eyes were as I went through that, and how many times I re-read (not because I didn't undestand, but just to feel the impact of the words again.)

This is ... stunning.

So...emotional...reminds me of our society, in a way...dragging ourselves up to face the world and finding that we were less than garbage, nursing our hurts with ever more pain.

Oh Jesus. What the hell are you doing? Why are you using that ** format, too. I've said it twelve times and I'll say it again, IT'S NOT CUTE; IT DOESNT MAKE YOUR WRITING BETTER; IT MAKES YOU SEEM 12 AND/OR A REALLY BIG FALL OUT BOY FAN. Damn, and I thought you had potential. You and your friend need to grow up and learn that being "cutesy" and following a trend strips you from any talent you do have. Get your own style. You're better than that.

'(not in the locker room shower with that thing you called your "friend.")'

'you still threw me away for some ** that had nicer ** and blue eyes.'

this is everything i've wanted to say in my poetry but i was too afraid. i held back, and censored it. your poetry is raw and real and it's incredible. it's so ** painful, but amazingly beautiful. i wish i was able to put this out there, say it so honestly. it's amazing -- i love this. and i'm not lying -- if i didn't like it, i would tell you. if i hated it, i would tell you. i read that poem you wrote, and i didn't write my poem randomly. a lot of people love your writing, and i do too. i don't give empty praise -- i mean every word i say when i tell you you're an amazing writer.

This is morbid, moreso than most of your work (or mine), but I can't figure out why. It's no more crude or disgusting, no more filled with hate than any of them, but I think the best way to describe it is 'Morbid'. Or 'Beautiful'. Whichever one, there's a delicate balance that you've managed to set on fire. Congratulations. ^^

Beautifully written and intense, raw, and emotional. Lovely.

** gorgeous. just filled with harsh, raw emotion and beautiful in its pain. your format is perfect, it emphasizes all the right parts. this reads like it came straight out of your head, unedited and uncensored, and that's what makes it beautiful. i absolutely love the last lines, because it's just so true, isn't it? i love this poem. keep writing.

ouch. thatz...it was so real i could almost /feel/ it, and written so well. i love it.

I can Feel this. Yes me and my g/f did break up, and then i traveled cross country to get her back. heh. so are you bi then?

Well, doesn't that hit close to home...knives and rubber bands. A whole nother world that people just ignore.*hugs* though, no boy is worth hurting yourself over. No matter how perfect he seemed to be, or what he did to you. *rolls eyes* and don't I feel hypocritical at the moment...

"you pressed your lips to hers and my heart broke""you still said I was perfect(even with the scars)"love those lines. This poem is so painful it almost made me cry, and not many writings can do that. keep up the amazing writing.

~Bex xx

god, this is just heartbreaking, especially this line--

'...(your mask has cracked, and I can’t get that image out of my mind(you pressed your lips to hers and my heart broke(hidingand holding a rose-Surprise, darling, I love you)'

just painful, but SO beautiful...!

I really love how vicious this is; the tone doesn't seem miserable so much as wounded and angry. Very nice.

I definitely understood that first part about assuming that everybody would have a happy ending. I really liked this one. Gorgeous job, doll.

M

the ending to this is so perfect to me. because it's rough and thrown out there which kind of makes the reader feel like you must feel in that situation.. and that's awesome. much applause for your brilliance.-aly