One might say this version of the chapter is better... Myep, that'd be me. I loved it anyways, but it's all good. Good jon, love. :D

DUN DUN DUN! I know who it is! Ahem. The actual review.

...Grammar is your friend. Commas, apostrophes, quotation marks, periods...

Oh. Wait. :D Since I'm your slacker beta, I ought to be taking care of that, so I'm not going to complain about conventions. I like Bishop. And I love how it's going, hon. Good job.

That's update. That you will never regret.

Bishop I do know how you came up with this chracter. He's my new favorite chracter.

Another chapter like this and there will be tears of joy.

i THINK THIS IS A REALLY GOOD STORY I LIKE IT

Okay first of all it was great,

but you missed words and Some sentances seam to leed together.

you probly need a beta reader, and if you have one kick her in the butt, so seh does her job j.p

I like this one very much. So you changed Darc's name? And hmm, Kaley in a sleeping Vahn's room. Absolutely no hijinks could ensue from that... ;)

WOW you never siez to amaze me. but this itns going to be erotica now is it.

It's so long! Yay! I am waiting eagerly for the next chapter, carus.

alright what happened to a chapter every weekend. sighs ill wait longer but im not mad im just highly dissapointed.

incredable simply amazing if the book gets any better ill stop reviwing because i wouldnt be able to exlain the awsome glory of this bookkidding i wouldnt be able to stop keep it up and im not inpressed easly so admire this review admire goddamnit admir a million kudos for you.

incredable simply amazing if the book gets any better ill stop reviwing because i wouldnt be able to exlain the awsome glory of this bookkidding i wouldnt be able to stop keep it up and im not inpressed easly so admire this review admire goddamnit admir a million kudos for you.

Owchies. I demand more! More! Muah!

I Disagree with the person below me, the little details like that help ppl figure out just wats going on. I like it, keep the little details and Keep writing!

Hm... interesting. Your queen politely suggests that you cut down on the mediocre details. We don't care that Vahn puked three times. Saying that he did once is enough. And we don't care that he got a glass of water, either. Not trying to be rude, sweetie, just trying to help you streamline your writing.

intreging keep up the writing stupenduis.