FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| twilightwolf666 2007-03-02 ch 1,  | abuse"We will be there for eachother like a hand in winter needs a glove." Favorite line. It so deep and shows the true raw emotion that you are trying to portray through this, Note is it? I really liked this and will continue to read more of your work. P.S Canada owns! BOB |
| itsonlyme07 2006-10-08 ch 1, | abuseum...I really couldn't get into this at all to be honest. It felt like you wrote the first line and then forced the rest to rhyme. Keep working and good luck |
| wordsworth in a garbage can 2006-10-08 ch 1, | abuseyour poetry is very unique. it's sweet. nicely written, in the end. keep going! |
| Sakura Taking 2006-10-06 ch 1, | abuseThis is fantastic! The rhyming is very well done. Spectacular work!! =) |
| SachiSachi 2006-09-30 ch 1, | abuse"Social and school issues, holy cow." Hee hee, know the feeling! That whole stanza is cute. And I love the floating bottle metaphor. |
| sarah1491 2006-09-27 ch 1, | abuseATTENTION TO ALL READERS:Sorry for reviewing my own poem, but I"d just like to say that line in stanza 2 was not mean to sound "mature". :P Sorry for any confusion! ^_^ |
| Leeona Trance 2006-09-27 ch 1, | abuseI liked most of this one, and except for the second stanza it showed surprisingly mature thoughts about love. "You really amaze me though, wow!" Made me laugh. The rest of it, however, was beautiful. Great poem, keep writing! You have talent. ^.^ ~LT |
| someday-i-will 2006-09-26 ch 1, | abuseAww this one's sweet. One thing I would say is the rhyming- it sounds forced, but yeah, it's hard not to. Thanks for the review by the way. Oh and the 'just like anyone' thing you commented on is supposed to sound ironic xx |
| brokendreams21 2006-09-25 ch 1, | abuse*tear* It's so beautiful. Let me know if this is written about anyone in particular...Haha. Anyways, this is really pretty. It makes me feel so happy! Just...really good. One of your best works. Keep up the awesome job! |
| felicia13 2006-09-24 ch 1, | abuseThe last line is just ... spectacular. But, the rhyming throughout seems forced and not at all natural. If you're going to try to make a rhyming poem, you have to let it flow naturally, and not force it all into rhymes for the sake of rhyming. Because then it looks bad. But the subject is a great one, and I think it could completely dominate if you did something less forced on it. Maybe a free verse? Felicia. |
| shining gem 2006-09-21 ch 1, | abuseThis one is beautiful too! 0_0 :0 |