Wow. That made me cry.
~SomethingNifty

wow. thats um. wow. moving. touching. brilliant. i love it. well done. keep up the brilliant work.

much love,
madi.ao

p.s thanks for all your reviews. very much appreciated ^-^

WAHH!

Your poetry has really improved. just for a tip, write out fifteen, don't put it as 15. It doesn't look professional.

"And held your hand while they killed that barely life" - this does not flow. Poetry is all about flow, and this line halts it. change the word barely to something else. tiny, small, miniscule, anything else. Maybe frail.

It seems to hold a strong anti-abortion theme to it; I'm indecisive on whether to call it a bias - me being pro-choice and all, but not-very-keen-on-the-subject from what I know and all - but I like this nonetheless.

For once we have a poem about the subject that doesn't revolve around the: OMGOD!1!1one I'mamurderer!-scenario or the Religon ethiced excuse, while one can see the slithers of a bias you mostly feel guilt and hurt and the same slither of insecurity and failure that one would feel in the situation. You take a concept that has been butchered and made into something that can be relatable and just plain realistic; it isn't melodramatic, it isn't waning too much on the subject, but it IS the life of this girl and her friend and The Mistake.

I find it bone-chilling, sad and haunting and REAL all at once, and moving; my mother lost her baby and the subject, no matter what, abortion or misscarriage, has always been touchy on me - issues with children have often pushed the squick-button to its extremes - and I can't help but feel myself literally forget how to breath because of this poem, its rotten and horrid truthfulness and life-like telling. It isn't clear-cut and made with a black-white perseption of things, it meshes everything that this one girl, fifteen-years-old and not even TOUCHING the boundries of life, and her facing something so . . .

I would have done what she did, yes, but I don't think I would close my eyes; she/he (I presume it is a girl a though, but I think it is more of an androgonous voice, if anythingelse) does and it feels human. You make contradictions in this; you point out the flows of people and the person perogative to a T, twist one's morality and make it a Life-Story.

It's amazing; I'd praise this for forever if it was enough. This poem touches me, it leaves me open and empty and hurting and while I was turned-off by the format (I'm a OH!SHINY&hearts!*_*-type of girl, at heart) but I fell headoverheels In Love with this. You handle the subject with a skilled hand, with an almost prose-like air to it and just completely whoa me to no end with this poem.

Lovely, lovely, lovely.

Now, I am completly incoherent.

~* Noelle