 poetic abortion 2006-09-02 . chapter 1"And put deodorant on my arm pits" - Too much detail, I think. ~__^
"And pretend I’ve got lips like Kate Moss" - What girl doesn't? I completely ADORE that line for the simple reason: it rhymed well and was beautiful. Oh, and can't forget relatable because what girl HASN'T compared herself to someone they admired? (Or boy, for the matter. But I am a girl and couldn't really answer that.)
Gah! I'm loving it so far.
. . .
Scratch that: this IS lovely. Really, excedingly, lovely.
The poem flows well; I can't say that often for the majority of rhyming poems that I have come across; and I REALLY love how you remained the voice of the person telling this poem; she is teenage and first-date and nervous and clever. I love the face that it is True Love or what feels like it, through her we can see slithers of such an emotion and relate because who's Significant Other DOESN'T make them feel like they could rule the world?
I love this, plain and simple.
~* Noelle |