FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Orange Sheep of the Flock 2008-07-03 ch 1,  | abuse... wow. that's just fantastic. |
| vase the girl 2008-03-24 ch 1, | abuseThis is simply beautiful. |
| moonsliver86 2006-12-07 ch 1, | abusewonderful piece... i loved it... excellent... |
| Matthews 2006-11-22 ch 1, | abuseWow, I haven't left a review of this yet...I love this poem so much I've actually shared it with a few friends and they loved it too! I love the way you worded things, like "guard -rail affection" and "earsplitting personality", but the part that hit the hardest, ironically, was the last three lines in the fifth stanza...not to mention the follow up stanza wrapped it all up quite nicely! Wicked job! I'll have to check out some of your other work. Keep it up. |
| Tell Me Tall Tales 2006-11-21 ch 1, | abuseI liked this alot - but I felt like the last stanza let me down. The rest of the poem is very...poeticish (for lack of a more sophisticated - and real - term lol) but that last stanza is too matter-of-fact, and a little cliched. Other than that, great job! |
| Forever Forbidden 2006-11-19 ch 1, | abuseThe title of four letter words is very unique and effective. It suggests of all the crude things he could say, and not the one you "desperately needed to hear"...I really liked this poem! -Helen |
| cycle.of.ashes 2006-11-06 ch 1, | abuse*jaw falls open* um, if I could find anything to criticize, I promise I would...wow. I love and covet your way with words. |
| bittersweet.season 2006-10-20 ch 1, | abusei love this, raw emotion, perfect flow, great simlies. great! |
| Sweet Persephone 2006-10-11 ch 1, | abuseOn my favorites list! Very good! |
| IVE-GOT-SUNSHINE 2006-09-22 ch 1, anon. | abuseo ma G-D this one spoke straight to my heart...i felt the words more than read them... i love the way you constructed the poem with things that this mystery guy would say to you(italics words) |
| Edgar Wellington 2006-09-21 ch 1, | abuseThis one is more compelling to me. It's hard-edged from the start. I like the tragically attractive character of the loud, foul-mouthed boy. The first stanza has a some mysteriousness (what is the "3 syllable deference"? "I love you"? I might spell out the number three, btw.) The notion that a street brawler with rat-like black eyes somehow allows you to breathe is pretty interesting. "earsplitting personality" ... "Shouting damnations to strangers" are pretty evocative; I like them. Let me say, however, love is like white-steam on a cool, breezy day... |
| yspgirl 2006-09-15 ch 1, | abusewow i really really like this. especially "i had so much asphyxiating perfect/that your black-eyed insurrection/was exactly what i was looking for." and "you had such an earsplitting personality," the entire third and fourth stanzas are amazingness. very very good. though i didn't think the ending carried as much of a punch as it could have... especially for such a powerful poem. i would've liked to have seen something more poignant. -aly |
| Bonfire Of The Sanities 2006-09-07 ch 1, | abuseThese are definetly different...they are powerful, and speak to the reader in a very unique way...well done, my friend |
| Peter Harrison 2006-09-06 ch 1, | abuseAgain, a great poem that I can't pick apart... These words definitely have song written on them, lyrical potential. Again, thanks for writing it. Peter |
| Mznewbooty 2006-09-05 ch 1, | abusewow thanx 4 the comment i'm a begininng author i hope to have more stories and poems up. i love urs its vivid and masterful. i enjoy writing dark poetry. i'll upload more today so plzz keep reading. again thanx |