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| selfish4more 2008-01-29 ch 10, anon. | abusehurry up and finish please. |
| A 2007-11-04 ch 10, anon. | abuseoh. i was reading and reading and then whoosh-stop. no more. sigh. it is really really good, the ideas and the characters are phenomanal-i love them. if this is your first draft, please skip these next few sentences. i do think it could use a little help in the actual writing of it, seeing you tell the reader everything so readily. it's nice to know, but it's not exactly like you were just following the character around, the way they think of things...it's like they're talking to an invisible person beside them half the time. if you want to talk to the readers like that, try to keep it constant and make it sound like they are talking to the reader, like a constant conversation. i don't want you to think that i don't like it-i do, very much. i just think it needs a little work is all, after all, what story doesn't? keep it up, A |
| hime1221 2007-11-03 ch 10,  | abuseWondeful chapter as usual, but the title worries me...'the calm berfore the storm'. Mysteriously intriguing. Man, I hope I'll be able to write like you one day. Cheers! X--hime1221 |
| hime1221 2007-11-01 ch 8, | abuseJust finished. Wonderful! Brilliant chapter! lol! |
| hime1221 2007-11-01 ch 1, | abuseI've read all the way through to chapter 8 and I'm in total love with the characters and the world you've created. I love the narration, and your diction is AMAZING! Write on! X--hime1221 p.s.-please update soon! |
| Green.Winged.Mistress 2007-09-07 ch 8, | abuseI really like this story so far! Please do more soon! Please, please, please! KeL xx |
| xoxstorii-gurrlxox 2007-06-03 ch 8, | abuseHaha...nice chapter...update soon! |
| xoxstorii-gurrlxox 2007-06-03 ch 7, | abuseWow..this was a good chapter..update soon |
| A.K.A. Writer's Block 2007-05-31 ch 8, | abuse:) uber interesting |
| Laughing In the Night 2007-05-10 ch 6, | abuseLorraine is adorable. |
| xoxstorii-gurrlxox 2007-05-08 ch 6, | abuseHaha. This is good so far!! Update soon!! |
| Lizzykai 2007-05-04 ch 5, | abuseLol, poor Mitchell! I love Lorraine's character still! So unique... the characters are developing nicely. |
| Atrum Angeleus 2007-02-25 ch 5, | abuseWow.. I like it, Im really into the elements and this story just like struck my interest. I hope you put more up, its a really good story. |
| BeneGesserit 2007-02-12 ch 5, | abusenice chapter Loral! i like the humor.. |
| A.K.A. Writer's Block 2007-02-11 ch 5, | abusei still love this story!! the chaps. could be a bit longer, but we still get updates, so i'm good. |