|Reviews for Transition 2|
| Halcyon Impulsion 12/16/08 . chapter 1
Oh this is nice. I really like the word watermelon and it doesn't get used near enough! Good work.
| Ygg 9/11/06 . chapter 1
How refreshing such few words can be.. Brilliant as ever!
| Aquafied 9/8/06 . chapter 1
what a downer
i shouldnt review on five hours of sleep.
| Dale Christopher 9/6/06 . chapter 1
I like that you relate seasons with fruit, and the last line really wraps up both said season and this haiku. For one reason or another I got a touch of sadness from this. Wonderful haiku.
| no.peace.los.angeles 9/6/06 . chapter 1
I like the specificity of the day Septenber 4, and the watermelon mention. But I think this one could be better. Using "the" at the end of your first line takes away from the creativity of your poem. Ooh, I just thought of a much better way to phrase this. Let me know what you think.
September fourth: Awatermelon season final picnic.
Eh, that wasn't as great as I thought it was going to be now that I've written it. Seems a little more haikuish for some reason, though. Keep writing! :)
| Elenive 9/6/06 . chapter 1
Watermelon! I have a friend who hates it. I can't understand that...
Anyway, it's good, but I don't think it's as powerful as some of your other ones. It's good, but you've written better.