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| AbderianViolet 2008-02-10 ch 1, anon. | abuseyes, so I know this is an old one AND that I already 'reviewed' it...if you can call that little thing a review. BUT friend or not, I'm a literature snob and so that's why I usually don't review; after reading emerson and poe and hawethorne, it gets harder and harder to appreciate fantasy etc. BUT I have always liked this little story. I like the way it's told, I like the parallel of dodging bullets pulled in at the end, I like the idea, probably for the same odd little twisted bit that made you want to write it :D. BUT It could use a little polishing, like most things. Just a couple little titchy things that would probably only get you annoyed at me if I pointed them out, so you probably shouldn't even bother. I just wanted to give you a review and, like I said, this is a story I've always liked. You've worked in the repetetive here, and what might help to make it more effective is even shorter, choppier sentences, like a director would use staggered, choppy shots to show that the subject isn't all there. You've got it a little bit, with the single lines - it breaks it up. anyway, yeah. again, I just wanted to give you a review from my more literature-snob side. |
| violet 2006-09-23 ch 1, anon. | abuseO.O I liken ze format, I liken ze twist. |
| dreamshell 2006-09-12 ch 1,  | abuseThis was enjoyable. Wonderfully dark and darkly humorous. It's really hard to pick one particular line that I like because they're all great, but if I had to, it'd be this; "Me, with a gun I don’t even know the name of." I just love that for some reason. Maybe because of the idea of being able to be so ignorant of something that can do so much damage. |
| Archive of the Insane 2006-09-09 ch 1, | abuseDude...very good.i'm awestruck.i cant find a thing to criticize. it's extremely good keep writing like this. |
| shiloh fire 2006-09-09 ch 1, | abuseyou spelled hole wrong...wholelike that really matters thoughbut i liked itwhich is kind of the only part of this review that mattersi like how twisted it was...and you write very well, you person of many names |