um. just..wow. i relate to this really well, in some ways. the part where she runs away. =(

update, this, HAHA. :D

not a big fan of this one either. it sort of felt like it was not short enough to be a drabble and not long enough to be a story. like there was more emotions that should've been broguht to light. it seemed too rushed.

lol *glances back at past chapters* i'm a shameless reviewer aren't i?

keep writing, girl.

i would like this a lot more if i felt as giddy and in love. i'm sorry for not being able to give you decent feedback on this one except that it makes me wish i could feel like this too.

love the daring use of bolded font and spacing for the world 'breaks'. really creates an impact.

"Their lips mouthed slurred sense and the speakers throbbed their hearts out onto an open slate." my favourite line. gawd, WHAT A LINE. i havent read a line like that in forever.

didn't really understand the whole 'false epiphany' bit. did it have to do with the music playing around them?

"You can never be only happy”.. dunno why, but that line has been stuck in my head for almost 2 minutes now after reading it.

Okay, I have to admit when I read the second line that had the use of second person, the "you" I got kind of excited. Second person is so rarely used and I have to be honest, I think it would be kind of cool for this little piece.

And with that said, I don't think I quite got this one. I was trying to figure out their ages to make her obsess over a guy from elementary school. And wouldn't her best friend have known that she had a crush on this guy?

I think this could work if you persued it and fleshed out the main character a little. Anyway, good job.

PS Sorry it took me so long to read and review this. THanks for the dedication, by the way.

Hm, I like this. Your choice of language in this is fantastic. The language is very beautiful and flowing and very distinct. I also think this is a very good short. It shows your knowledge of music (in your review reply you said you love music, which I totally understand. I'm intoxicatingly devoted to it.) There is also a very distinct voice in here which comes through not only in the smoothness of the language, but also the frank and emotion mention of the bitterness. This is cool.

I'll be frank and honest, I'm not a poetry person and I probably wouldnt do it justice to review it. I just wanted to acknowledge that I did read this because I hate when people read and don't say anything. Anyway, I read this and I thought it was alright. Its a cutesy poem that doesn;t really strike me until the last two lines and I find myself having trouble interpreting them, which is what intrigues me the most. The last line, the "only mine" seems to hint at a sort of jealousy and selfishness. But that's just me, I might be reading into it more than needs to be.

This is not as strong as the last and I am left with a kind of disinterest with the characters. The imagry itself and the actual writing is very good, but I don't really understand the repitition. This sounds cool, but it could be better.

Hm, I just seem to be tracking you down all over the place. I like this first drabble. Its short, but powerful and I as the reader get a very strong idea of this girl's character. Its well written.

I've actually enjoyed all three of these but haven't reviewed yet. This third one was very nice, it's good to read something optimistic for once. The italics in the final line were well used (sometimes it just feels unnecessary). Keep up the good work. ~Mariah

aw... KEEP WRITING! I WANT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT ;)

"His eyes bashfully snuck a glance at her"

haha

how cheeky!

that was an elegant chapter.

keep it up =)

I like it! I want to read on...although i know i shouldn't as it is a distraction to my homework! But I'm eager to know what happens next. Keep it up ;)..keep writing more!