FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Twist130 2006-10-05 ch 1,  | abuseThis is really good! I like the imagery, and how you say 'Trees began to grab at Jana's clothing... she had to escape them...' that sort of thing. It really gets me a picture in my brain. I also like how at the end, the guy that she loved came back for her, and how it can also be interpreted that he was a new guy in her life, who could help her move on. This was really good! But you might want to space it out with the double spaces, it looks kind of cramped and it's a little ** the eyes all mushed together like it is. |
| FuzzyGrapes 2006-09-11 ch 1, | abuseAw! This is really sad, and well written, and good, and... I want to read more! Because I really think it would be part of a great story, if you ever wanted to take it further (I know you said you didn't, but I am SO encouraging you to! Like a good little encouragement-bug!) Even though it's short I got what was going on and who the characters were, so it's really well written in that respect ... I'm not going to incredibly BEG you to write more, since I often write little things like this and never want to see them again, but PLEASE CONSIDER WRITING MORE! PLEASE? Otherwise, good job. Smilies! |