Interesting, original, and good for a short poem. The word choice of the line "Tomorrow is pattern" seemed a little off though and with a poem as short as this, a line being a little off, offsets the poem more than it typically would. Still, this piece speaks clearly with your style and originality.

This piece is very concise and brief, which is good in poetry. It forces the reader to draw his or her own conclusions about what the poem means - it makes the reader THINK. The speaker merely SHOWS (sets the scene), doesn't tell. That's excellent.

Fictionpresses old links not working and you changing your name made you hard to find

I love that ending.. great piece

hmm...it's like magnet poetry. i like the first stanza.