Reviews for Shut Up - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Shut Up

Atalaya 2006-10-26 ch 1,	I really liked this, the end line just brought it all together. P.S. Don't be so modest.
PennyPrints13 2006-09-19 ch 1,	intersting. i like that its about the sky.~p
The Breakdancing Ninja 2006-09-12 ch 1,	My rule of thumb is. Take a writer's work seriously even if they themselves don't take it seriously. The minute we express our thoughts and publicize them, it's a lost cause to even THINK we don't want to be taken seriously. I'm waiting to see some stories put up on your LJ. I hope you could write, read and review as well as you bash, too. + + + At first, I thought this small poem was going to be about sailors in a ship. It's my first inclination to think that the word "port-hole" = ship for sailing the seas, and that the "Heaven-scape" is a mirror of sky and water. On further evaluation, I want to clear up in my mind the imagery before I start talking about the actual meaning. Let me just say that this reminds me a lot of Lukertin's work. Lukertin's work: A superior breed of poetry that I have no business reviewing because I'm not yet equipped to catch all the allusions, the latin, the devices. But I will one day. XD;; The imagery is of limitlessness. The first stanza is one of mobility, taking the reader past the earth into a "Heaven-scape". Many people depict Heaven as a blue place with clouds. This poem sees a "sky" and "stars". [Is sky and stars, stars and sky.] The utility of this actual line serves a dual purpose for me. Of course, it fits in a good rhyme scheme. But the actual line itself refers to the "Heaven-scape" which is "[Nothing but] sky and stars, stars and sky". The inability on the poet's behalf to describe or expound anymore on this "Heaven-scape" is an acknowledgement of the mystery, depth, and sheer size of the world outside of our own. A human being would only be able to comprehend the sky and stars, it's all he knows. The second stanza is static. The poet paints the "Heaven-scape" with the words: [Points of light with black between/ Hang like a painted scene]. The spatial perspective of the poet focuses more on the brilliant light than the darkness in between, as inferred by the first line. This can possibly read more into the author's character. The sky and stars seem to be a lot like a decoration that someone much bigger than us has draped "like a painted scene". It seems that the sky is a description for someone's room. This, also suggests a much bigger macrocosm. I spelled that wrong, I'm pretty sure of it. [Heaven has given us the slip.] The illusion that heaven is anywhere nearer when a man reaches 'the highest point in the sky', corresponds pretty well to ambitions and life goals. The poem squelches the idea of dreaming or seeking out the legend of Heaven by saying: "[It is] no nearer there/Than on Earth, everywhere/ Equidistant from our ship." This has a bitter-sweet tone to it. The sky doesn't start miles up where the clouds are. It starts where the ground ends. Around our ankles, to be exact. But people think in much loftier concepts because the idea of seeking out something big, unknown and mysterious and actually ATTAINING it is a sensational thought that every person has at one type or another--of course, it manifests itself differently. Maybe as a love interest, a career, some other institution or community. The fact that the last line says: "Man, we've been jipped" says more to me about your condition than this poem's. If you immodestly state your work is not up to par, and even if you clandestinely feel it is superior to all else's, the fact that you mock-admit that you're not very good at writing is a sign of insecurity. This poem is a manifestation of that feeling. Where you feel you're so close, but you're not. And the end feeling is one of disappointment. This is a facet of idealism in writing. All writers feel this from time to time. In a historical context, I think this could go pretty well with what people might have thought once they reached the moon. They must have said: "Where the HELL is Heaven?" Which is a good question, but not one I feel I should answer. The beginning of the poem has a line, that to any cynical analyst would seem like one of those "cool" lines people use to make the poem have more of a bang, even when it really has nothing to do with the imagery. But I think "Suppose it done" is a lot like saying: "I've built it, I'm ready." In reference to the ship. But this really means: "I've written this work, it's ready." THEN the poem feels trapped, confined in itself. "Closed in steel, up there". "up there" is referring already to the -launch- of the ship or poem, and the writer helplessly watches through his/her "port-hole(s)" what he/she thinks is Heaven. But the poem never quite makes it. This is, akin to a writer's perfection. + + + The title of the poem is--well, from a more deliberate standpoint, a ploy to get people to read the damn thing--but, it could also mean 'I'm shut up in this goddamn space ship and have nowhere else to go', or even 'Shut up, don't analyze my work'. The more plausible one I think is, 'I feel shut up inside myself', referring to a need to release an expression and relieve oneself. + + + Take your own work and others' work seriously. It'll benefit you more, and it'll hurt others less. A destructive writer--person is only someone in deep pain, in need of help and understanding. [Shall we?] An invitation for us to climb in alongside you and take the same journey. Maybe you have experienced a lot of misunderstandings, especially concerning with people who you might have respected and admired at one time, or people who you have entrusted your knowledge, as well as your thoughts to. This could cause a lot of discouragement and a build-up of resentment. And this could cripple your ability to write. + + + The images the poem had were rendered so well that the rhyme scheme almost seemed non-existent. It took the rhyme scheme's thunder, is what I should say. A very well-balanced piece, the sign of accomplished writing. A delicate, quiet piece, that was silenced--or "shut up" by its author. And a favorite that will go on my site. Value everything you write. Rock on, m34.
EmptynessFilled 2006-09-12 ch 1,	I really don't get you. Are you bipolar? because one minute you stand against everybody who isn't as sophisticated as you, then you go and write "books R 4 loozers" and say not to take you seriously. Your livejournal is "i write bad things". And now, this gets put up, and you go back to the sophisticate. 1. This is an amazingly awesome, well written, perfectly detailed poem. 2. Please keep doing things like this and forgo the other persona.
Pedantmuse 2006-09-11 ch 1,	Interesting point and nice rhyme scheme, seems like you're set.

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