FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Twilight Starr 2007-10-10 ch 1,  | abuseThat so sad. I bet that situation did hurt. Great job expressing your emotions. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| notthecreepyfatguy 2006-10-01 ch 1, | abuseYou put so much emotion in your work that it really just amazes me. |
| hey maria 2006-09-17 ch 1, | abuseAgain, the format doesn't do much for me, but it's not a big deal. I like the use of color in this to show mood, but the whole jealousy-green thing is an old cliche. I also liked how there were a few rhymes in this. I think the last two lines were a little anticlimactic though; maybe work on that? |
| fairytale failure 2006-09-17 ch 1, | abuseIn this one the bold and italics works a lot better...I don't know why, maybe because I don't read it with as much rhythm. I love the eye colour metaphors! |
| brittany brokenhearted 2006-09-13 ch 1, | abusei love this one. i especailly like when you said "i made up reasons and lies. because i never knew rejection til you shot me from your skies." i think you have a real talent here |
| Jenna 2006-09-12 ch 1, anon. | abuseSweet Jesus this is good. And given that a similar thing happened to me a few years ago i really can relate to it. good job. |
| dress her up in fairytales 2006-09-12 ch 1, | abuseoh, wow, this is amazing. i can just hear someone reading it in my mind with the emotions of the words... this would make a great song. love it. |
| xForeverAndAlwaysx 2006-09-12 ch 1, | abusethis is really well written. i like how you put some lines in bold for emphasis. i especially like your beginning you capture so much emotion here. good job. |