Reviews for Love Is Just A Four Letter Word

Reviews For: Love Is Just A Four Letter Word - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

Danielle 2007-08-20 ch 7,	You aren't continuing? That sucks. I just saw this story, and I read it... really good. I don't think it's like the other Young Adult stories on here. I wish you would continue, but if you really are set against it, then that's that. Thanks for sharing your amazing story! ...even the brightest star... XXdanielleXX ...has to fall sometime...
The Breakdancing Ninja 2007-08-08 ch 3,	Wow. Pretty articulate for a jock. Erin said "Love is pain", which means it is something. We might want to reconsider what she said. Since Willie also uses it in his essay. I'm not into this essay. It looks intentionally stupid and hopeful. The only good argument was the grandparents with their fifty year marriage.
The Breakdancing Ninja 2007-08-08 ch 2,	I dislike the devices: boy-next-door childhood best friend, unpopular main character with intelligence, popular jock who has interest in the main character, superficial forum to discuss romance plot, plastered, cartoony dad. Venom aside, there are some things I'll admit I enjoy. I like what this story is trying to tackle; there's a lot of masturbatory statements that make the main characters look cool and everyone else look stupid, but that aside, not many young adult stories venture into the world of philosophy so early. The only thing I urge is to be careful, because there is a thin veil between an intelligent and cohesive person, and a person who just spouts cynicisms all day. Erin sort of looks like the latter with that whole nihilistic business. It would be better to make her more well-rounded, to have a better argument to begin with, because what it looks like right now is: GIRL WILL MAKE 180 AND BELIEVE IN LOVE. Which becomes a virtual waste of time, and all the merit in the writing, all the descriptions and the earnest attempt to address something high up there will fall short to that old mainstream satisfaction. I enjoy her creative writing teacher, and even her other teacher, that one that assigned her the truth thing. Zack seems pretty cardboard to me. I like that Erin's reluctant about going to college, but she doesn't seem well-informed. She just seems sort of ignorant and stubborn. Check out my work if you have time. I am open to constructive criticism--or rather, constructive abuse. And I return reviews well.
The Breakdancing Ninja 2007-08-08 ch 1,	This was an interesting opening. Full of passionate denial, with weak reprise.
Love2ReadnWrite 2007-08-05 ch 1,	Please, please add the next chapter ASAP. I loved the plot of this story. I LOVE everything in this story, except for the abusive father. It sad how in reality these things actually happen too.
NO LONGER USING 2006-12-05 ch 4,	Hi! Well I'm sick home today from school and so I thought I'd take the oportunity to skip studying and just read this chapter. I really think you're doing a great job on it and there were only some minor grammar mistakes, which I'll just tell you so that it won't be annoying to have to find them, cause I know it's sort of annoying when people are like the grammar's wrong in some places and you have no clue where lol. But, anyway, glad you brought Will back. He seems like a gentleman from what I've gathered and he seems like he wants to help. And Zach is an absolute darling. I mean not many guys would waste time caring about one of their friends like that. And I think even though Erin tries to act strong and tries to push people away, she really does want a friend and the fact that Zack stuck around even when all her other friends left only adds to the fact that he's a great friend. I can't wait to see what happens with Will now in the picture and with their asignment. Okay now there were just a couple of little mistakes I saw. Nothing too large to worry over, like in some sentences, like this one, the tenses needed a little fixing: "My life spun out of control sometimes I feel as if I’m just an observer." In that sentence you have both present and past tense, so you could think of writing it like this for a little more clarity. "When my life spun out of control, sometimes I felt as if I was just an observer." or "When my life spins out of control sometimes, I feel as if I am just an observer." If you were to use the second suggestion, it would keep up with the following sentences which were not in past tense, if you get what I mean. It's just a suggestion, feel free to use whatever you want lol. And the other thing I noticed was that in one sentence, you switched from "I" to "her": "He laughed at her quip, “Are you always this evasive?”" I wasn't sure if you meant someone else or "I" as in Erin. And lastly, the other thing I noticed was in the sentence where her father hits her, "He raised his hand striking me across the face sending me failing into the banister." Did you mean flailing or falling? I'm sorry for all this, don't think I'm being picky or anything. These are all just little things I noticed here and there, and I'm telling you only because I find absolutely nothing else wrong with this. You've done a wonderful job. Also since you've got an A/N in the begining I don't think you necesarily need that little A/N in the middle of the story, because it distracts from the action. But that's only my personal suggestion. You can keep it there, if you want. I promise I'm almost done, "After the “exciting” debate yesterday, Mrs. Dooley decided to make it the exam for the end of our semester." This sentence was sort of confusing. I think you meant that because of the debate on the previous day, the teacher decided to give them an essay but I'm not sure. And now I'm done! Finally! As I've said before, your writing is beautiful. I loved reading this for every moment I spent on it and you can be sure of that, because I'm reading this when I should be studying right now, but oh well. Reading is so much better than math lol. Please update this soon. I'd really like to read more of it. It's very interesting and the characters are easy to understand, and the dialogue natural and realistic. Keep up the good work, girly. ~Lacy~ I've.Said.Enough P.S. Please think about what I said earlier in my last review about checking out that story I've just posted up. Here's the summary: Daddy's Baby Girl Summary: “I thought I could forget everything. I swore I wouldn’t be like him, but every time I see you, it reminds me that I’m no better than him.” To anyone who’s ever lost a father or a mother. To anyone who’s hurting. This is for you.
NO LONGER USING 2006-12-05 ch 3,	I love how you've shown an alternative view of love by this character, William. I think it's nice that you've done that. He says what he believes love is very clearly. It's not hard to understand his language and he's very clear and forthright. Perfect. He also give his reason for believing that love is a beautiful thing and that only make his opinion even better. I loved this chapter and I regret that I hadn't read it sooner. But you know, school and all, there's just not much time. :-) Lacy P.S. I've written a new story, "Daddy's Baby Girl," And I love for you to read the first chapter I put up and give me some feedback when you've got a spare moment. Thanks so much!
Child of Philosophy 2006-11-01 ch 4,	Hey girl! I love this story! You're an awesome writer and I hope you update soon. p.s. I'm not reviewing from home... hee hee...
The Ferrett 2006-10-22 ch 4,	When i started reading i expected mushy crap. But this is Good. I mean this is quality. So who gets who and is it a 10 things story (Got converted to chiuck flicks ages ago.) Talk plz.
Samantha 2006-10-22 ch 4,	I like the plot to this a lot, and though there are a few confusing sentences because of the POV changes, overall this is a really good story, and I really like it.
Rains 2006-10-22 ch 4,	Points of view - you keep switching and, though it's followable, it's a bit odd. It's okay to keep switching the POV between different people and 3rd person, but some of the way you've done it is odd (where you've done it in the same sentence - I picked up on it a few times)...like 'There was a pregnant pause and I laughed quietly to herself'. There was something else as well, but it was only little and I can't remember it. Apart from that, it's good. :0)
Child of Philosophy 2006-09-21 ch 2,	Wow... this is some hard core stuff... I like it!
NO LONGER USING 2006-09-18 ch 2,	Yay and update. I liked this second chapter, shows more into her personality and all that good stuff. I like how you had the definitions of love at the end. Very good. And wow her father is very verbal...? lol. Nice work
Rayzha 2006-09-17 ch 1,	Ahh.. my last review had so many typos. Gah, I'm sorry. But yeah, I truly want to continue reading the story.
Rayzha 2006-09-17 ch 2,	Hmm, pretty nice story, so far.I noticed in the second chapter that you sorty of switched up tenses a coupel of times going from first to third.But the endind is kind of contridicting the whole story line.. huh? Okay, well I'll be waiting for your next chapter. Feel free to email me.

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