FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| Aramar the Black 2006-09-16 ch 1,   | There a few lines, mainly 3, 13, 19, 20, and 26, that need some different (or less) word choice to keep a nice beat going. And an editing fix wouldn't be a bad idea either. That said, I think it's a funny, cheerly little poem. It has a nice arc. |