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| Bloodlust 2006-09-27 ch 1,   | Nicely done. |
| Aramar the Black 2006-09-16 ch 1, | Ooh, very nice. The following are only suggestions:-"a" between for and moment-stairstep, rather than stepOn in stead of from in line eight."that I'd: in place of "I" in line 15. Pulling from another reveiwer, I could also see an additional stanza between stanzas 3 and 4. |
| unspecified 2006-09-15 ch 1, | omg...this is really cool. it's amazing...but also creapy at the same time! great job! |
| ifitaintkatie 2006-09-14 ch 1, | love it, the ending was great. :] kind of reminds me of my own writing. good subject matter. nice! keep it up. |
| candyaddict 2006-09-14 ch 1, | great beginning. could do with being slightly longer, it doesn't feel very complete to me. too much of a cliffhanger for my liking. all in all, not too bad at all! |
| ThETrutHAbouTCaseY 2006-09-14 ch 1, | good poem, just remember that poetry is read from punctuation mark to mark (I can't spell today, sorry). Some of the lines sound like they would be better phrased if a comma was removed. Try periods too. Great job, keep writing |