FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Skitzo 2006-10-09 ch 1, anon. | abuseOnce again, edits first."...the sun dried the water too quickly for you do truly..." to truly And this story is slightly confusing. You never gave us any sort of reasoning behind the two being on the raft in the first place, never set a solid way they knew each other (other than the other world comment), why they would rather die of thirst instead of getting on the other ship. It's still well written, just with a lack of character development. |