 lronMaiden 2006-09-14 . chapter 1i like this but i dont think you need the cliche of "how do you seem to READ ME LIKE A BOOK". Your whole theme is about that concept and you were succeeding in not making it cliched until you wrote that. I suggest not stating that at all because it's something the reader should have already gathered.
Otherwise, without that, i think its a fantastic poem. |