The first to lines are absolutely gorgeous! So much good in this it's hard to know where to start. I did feel like the last stanza and especially the last line were a bit clunky...it didn't feel as smooth and gleaming as the rest, quite. Overall really great work though--the language and the story in this are very powerful.

You just used phoenix as a verb. I am very impressed.

Hmm...nice string of images to personify this person who is so fierce as to be impersonal. Good words. I like "red crash end".

Amazing imagry! I love this! Great lines in this poem. Write more!

You make such active verb connections. Very unique and original correlations. I like the narrative aspect of this. As if it was a story inside a story inside a poem. Marvelous expansion of thought. Great work.

"No doubt you’ll phoenix from the metal ribbons / whisk away the sparse dust coppering your hair"

Absolute beauty! I can and would not say anymore than that.