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| Crossing the Rubicon 2006-09-25 ch 1,  | abuse"It pirouettes past you in a high-strung ballet,one pointed foot hoping to trip a clue." Those lines are so vivid, and I love the whole literal thing. While I do like this poem, I don't think these lines are as strong as some of the other lines in this poem: "This is nothing like those, that fade, ebb,/swerve, dive, surge, wander,/flee to time’s wastelands. Mine is a thing of abstraction, distraction,/cemented in a fluttering mind." These lines tell more than show. I'm not saying that these lines are bad; I'm just saying that they pale in comparison to the other fantastic lines in this poem. But that's just my personal opinion. |
| Guardrail 2006-09-19 ch 1, | abuseWow, your imagry is amazing! This is very well written and beautiful. Definately keep writing! |
| no.peace.los.angeles 2006-09-19 ch 1, | abuseI love the part about the thank you note and the details there of the half-dotted i's and semi-circle o's. Clever and well-articulated. I also love the string of verbs in the 3rd stanza. I'm imagining a piece of paper floating aroung in the breeze, turning and flipping as it soars. And I was looking at your profile and thank you for the nice words of thanks to me, but you DO deserve praise! Your work is beautiful. Certainly more deserving than most of what I write. Keep writing! :) |
| Anaare 2006-09-19 ch 1, | abuseI am always amazed at your aptitude with the English language. Such vocabulary, it's dizzying! And it is all beautiful. |
| Moondog Dozier 2006-09-19 ch 1, | abuseI like the concept of this. Or the interpretation of the concept that you are presenting. A love of something other than tangible material items. A love of sound, and words, and the emotions that these combinations elicit. Very well thought out. You're diversity of topics and vocabulary is sparkling, and refreshing to read with each new work. MD:77. |
| Teo Bozic 2006-09-17 ch 1, | abuseI would be interested to know how you measure response, or at least anticipate it, if you do at all. And whether or not this 'thing' of yours has found some sly way to soften the mould. Or do I, my eyes entranced by the feats that dazzle but do not last, mistake your gift? |