Reviews for The Majestic Windchime

The Inkslinger
2006-09-21
ch 1,

abuseMina, I love you. A lot of a lot. I love you so much that I'm making sentences like THAT one, and am spelling that like taht. This piece is so beautiful; if you don't get a good grade then... give me the prof's address so I can gnaw his ears off.

Anyway, I am going to get on with the review now. Prepare for the proliferation!

Ahh, as always, your descriptions rock my boat. "Gold coin stars," how she is "the very essence of lights," and the beautiful -everything- that is The Savrigne, from her beaded hair to her nails and jewels and dress. Oh, wonderous.

But you know, it's not just the metapohors/similes which I love... your diction is so excellent. Words like "shivering testiment," "naked streets," the "acute jumbling," "churning blanket," the "grating" of silence," "the chille melts off," "our fingers entwined for the last time as equals," (okay, yes, that was a whole sentence, but love*), to name (quite) a few favourites. Oh wait, some of those were sort of metaphor-ish. Okay, smack me. But I love your vivid descritions, as always. Always, always. They give such illustrative mood and feeling to the writing... I want to steal your descriptions and keep them for myself. *love*

Gah, and the romantic in me ADORES this: "The Savrigne... The Sunlight; the Moonlight. The World." Gah- wordless. *melts* Seriously. I love, love, love it.

And the character portrayal, especially of the Savrigne, is just so wonderful. It makes me all tongue-tied. Let me find an example of.. oh, here's a sweet one: "the sound of her voice could make the guilty confess, the touch of her hands have made the blind see." So good, Mina. How do you do it? That sentence is just... pure awesome.

Oh, and this, too-- "the young Savrigne enjoyed scolding my mischievousness; I enjoyed being mischievious just to be scolded by her soft tongue." Perfect. It gives me... such a feel for their relations and characters, from the beginning. And also, I don't know how to explain, but it adds to the whole feel of why he is risking so much, and why she is risking so much, so that they can be together. Sort of like.. it was meant to be, and they always have been? I don't know. I can't explain. But this is all so lovely to me, so please excuse the gushness. (Actually you have no choice, so mwa ha.)

As well, the premise of the story is so excellent. *love and adoration* The POWER of the true Names, and how in giving each others names, they become truly joined-- but it's such a passionate, incredible confession of love and trust-- ugh, I don't think I make sense, but if I do, know that I just adore the ideas in this story. I can't get enough of the 'one-true-love romance.' And by true I mean... one RIGHT love. Like, one person is meant for another. (Sadly, such things don't exist in real life tm, but hey, that's what writing is for, so) this is perfect. Like a sweet-toothed kid who has just discovered the secret stash of halloween candy. That's me, drooling all over your story. Heh.

*dies* As for the scene where they excange names, OH MY GOD = LOVE. I love how they exchange it, and I love all that goes on with Kamenwatii when he discovers her name, then before he says it and after. The romance of it all just kills me.

One more favourite sentence; I can't help it- "The curling runes brush against one another, in a sensuous dance. I read them, over and over, my mind savoring the flavor of the word." Mina! Savoring the flavor of the word... Oh, so good. I have great jealousy towards you.

Ah, and I do love the very last sentence, also. It has such hope and joy for the future-- sort of, a warm feeling, where most of the scenes/rememberance up until this point had been.. sort of.. cold? Or, well, hard to explain, but to me they seemed very dark-- always showered in the light of the moon, or the memories of them... but then, the very last words--"the smiling face of the sun god" seems so hopeful and warm. Love conqours all, my friend! (Or so we wish.) Well, in writing it can. And has. Ah, love.

This was so lovely- I think I've said that five times, and my sentences don't make sense because I'm gibbering, but I hope I got my points of ADORATION across. Because this is going on my favourites. Because that's what it is.

I love you, Mina!

... And hey, when is your next short story due...? *cackle*

-Inky

gildedCradle
2006-09-15
ch 1,

abuseThis was a grate work; sporting vivid descriptions and truly superb imagery. The world you seem to have crafted deserves more than a single chapters worth of attention, IMO. :)

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