|Reviews for schiene|
| crystal balle 11/27/10 . chapter 1
That was intense. I almost cried two sentences in.
| Bipbip 10/16/10 . chapter 1
Let me hold you so tight your back is gonna break.
I love you.
| xFable 3/18/10 . chapter 1
That was absolutely brilliant. The images, the feelings...It was spell binding, really. I could feel the character so strongly that it was as if I was living in their head. I've tried to find some bit of constructive criticism to give you, but I wouldn't change a damn thing, honestly. I look forward to reading more from you in the future. Very nicely done!
| Blei 11/8/07 . chapter 1
again, late for a review D
but that story is just amazing!
You should write more! You're a very good writer!
| Christy Leigh Stewart 8/5/07 . chapter 1
I looked for a LONG time trying to find a WW2 slash novel for my friend (Shes German and Im trying to make sure she wont forget it), and I could have just sent her this! Good job Ill make sure to let her know her people's atrocities live on even in slash fiction.
| XO'MagickMoon'OX 6/2/07 . chapter 1
Ah, I've always wanted to write a WW2 piece... never got around to it... but I found this, and I love it. :D Beautifully written, and if your present tense is "stilted and slightly absent," I sure as hell didn't notice. I thought it was wonderful from beginning to end. Beautiful and emotional and at the same time blunt and biting. And I'm in love with it. And your writing. I'll have to read more sometime. *favorites*
| hoya haha 1/1/07 . chapter 1
gah, i loved :) excellent use of words.
| Vigniti Tres 11/12/06 . chapter 1
*schoolgirlish squeals of joy*
This is like, probably my dream fic. It's a one shot. I love one shots because they don't get too thready and angsty like chapter stories and in situations like this it doesn't need to get thready and angsty to get the point across.
I think it showcases your skill a lot more if you pull out a wonderful one shot like this because you show a hell of a lot of depth in just a couple words where as chapter storys are all about digging further and further into the character and slowly shredding up every pretense about them. Which is fine, but is less difficult to do when you have 50,0 words to do it.
I love how you started this. Holy crap. Scary shit, your description of the bullet hitting him gave me shivers and just, gah.
The tense is fine imo. I do it a lot too, although mine is clutered, wild, and exuberant in it's nature while your's is controlled in a self sufficient chaotic way that works.
I love the listing of the specs. Wowowowowowow. And then the comment after it. Oh god, that ruled.
And you use "-" a lot. And that makes me love you even more because I abuse that a lot and get shit for it but it's this thing that I love, the giant space between two paragraphs or a sentence that creates an emphasis and so forth and so forth.
This and YOU are going on my fav lists. This was great.
(That quote at the beginning is downright fucking amazing, btw. Just thought I should share that.)
Okay, I'll shut up. Just. Thank you.
| The Un-great-ful 9/25/06 . chapter 1
I had so much fun reading this that I really don't want to spoil my review by saying anything else, good one.
| Kerin 9/19/06 . chapter 1
This is quite the right length to read at work. *looks about guiltily*
But, ah, on to the story.
I felt like I wasn't quite clear about what was going on. Are they on opposite sides, or what? It seems like they might be, but if so where are they finding the space/time away from their own side to fuck and spend nights together?
I'm not oblivious to the need for balancing exposition with flow; it can be quite a problem, especially in short bits like this. Starting in a dream always makes it hard to do proper explanations, though, so you may have done the best you can in the situation.
This is still written pretty well. Not your best, certainly - I felt kind as if I'd read this before, mostly because both the theme and the setting are often-visited by writers - but although it didn't really bring much fresh to the fore, it still managed to entertain.
The bit where Clair gets shot is similar. Not very new, but done well.
And, finally: awaking in a sheen of sweat? I think I'm beginning to understand your fetishes. ;]
Anyhow, nice work. Do continue to rock on.
| Souba-kun 9/17/06 . chapter 1
Ya know, to be honest, I never really cared much for historical slash. Like... at all. I mean, I like history, and I like slash, but not the two together.
But this is good. Make it longer though. I didn't really understand whose POV is was from, but maybe that's because it's damn early for me.
P.S. I reviewed your slash, now you review mine :0
| Arrows 9/17/06 . chapter 1
Have you ever read 'The Mercy Room'? It's a wonderful little novel, and contains similar themes.
Anyway, I really liked this piece. It's beautiful and brief and I really enjoyed your prose. You have some long sentences that could use a bit of breaking up, but I'm incredibly guilty of that myself and I don't think they detract from the piece at all. Other than that, I have no critique... this was very well revised. Good job! :D