FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| merrymowmow 2006-11-04 ch 10,  | abuseI was wondering when you're going to update. |
| Dellarose 2006-10-08 ch 10, | abuseI have really enjoyed this story. I can't tell if it's completed or not, but I've got to say it was wonderful. My only advice would be to work on the arrangement of the dialogue. It was a little confusing at times. All the same, amazing work you have. I commend you. |
| E. M. Grinlord 2006-09-16 ch 6, | abuseVery interesting story here. It seems, especially the first chapter, very film noir, what with the narration and dark descriptions. I think the transition between first person and third person (like when you describe characters in another room) is a bit rough, so you may want to keep it completely first person, or italicize the third person stuff. Overall an interesting story! |