FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Twilight Starr 2007-10-10 ch 1,  | abuseGood poem. Nice job bolding to emphasize words. Good luck with poetry and life. Have a wonderful day. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| ronshaberry 2006-12-14 ch 1, | abuseHeyas, this has some really great stuff in it. I really like the contents, the concept, the lyrical feel of it all. But - I'm sure a lot of people tell you this - don't rely so much on bolds and capitalization and italics and all those frills too much, because as much as poetry is becoming a visual art now, thise things are still something that will distract the reader from the meat of the poem, what's really the poem, which is what is really good. Sorry, that was an uber run-on sentence. I just have to say, I had a hard time concentrating on your poem becaue of all those extras you put in, which is really a shame. It's just something to keep your eye on... use extras sparingly. But good anyway! I really love your selection of words, it just gives the poem its own uniqueness. Beautiful. Bye! |
| commit-this-to-memory 2006-12-01 ch 1, | abuseokay. thats it. when I review something i like, i go see their other stuff. if i like that, i pick another thing of their's to read. but this is weird. I never see people with such inSANE consistency of amazing stuff. amazing. jesus. some good band better find this and sing it, and I will illegal download the crap out of it. no. I'll buy it. that way you'll get the royalties. because you SO deserve them. |
| katt's got your tongue 2006-11-22 ch 1, | abusebeautiful rhyming! *claps* "'i'm better now i promise,' her canary yellows fade, but he grabs and gropes and takes- life won't deal her an ace. " awesome lines right there. +faves! |
| Noir Fleurir 2006-11-14 ch 1, | abuseI love the line "life won't lend her an ace" thats really good to me and it kinda makes you think :) good poem definitely |
| painting andromeda 2006-11-03 ch 1, | abusecara, i love you, and i love this. |
| notthecreepyfatguy 2006-10-01 ch 1, | abuseWow this was amazing! It had sucj great rythm and the way you wrote it made it flow beautifully! This is seriously one of my favorite pomes. |
| Angelic Hellraiser 2006-09-18 ch 1, | abuseI really enjoyed reading this! Keep it up! |
| ifitaintkatie 2006-09-17 ch 1, | abuseThis is cool, would probably be a good song too. But the bold and italics get a bit redundant and unneccessary seeing as it's only a written poem so far. But I liked it a lot! :] |
| fairEtales 2006-09-17 ch 1, | abuseI really liked this. Really nice job. Really loved the imagery. |
| hey maria 2006-09-17 ch 1, | abuseThis sounds like a pretty cool song; the only things I don't like much are the format (but that doesn't matter much, seeing as how this is meant to be sung, not read) and the lines "she./spun./star dust," because I think it's a little cliched. Other than that, these were great lyrics. Keep writing. |
| fairytale failure 2006-09-17 ch 1, | abuseThis is a really awesome song! I can definitely tell it would be incredible with a melody...but all of the bold and italics can be a bit distracting the way it is written out. |