Though I find the subject to be one of my utmost favorites, I cannot say that the feelings that you described, the images that you meant to provoke, were clear or aesthetic to me (I love that word...aesthetic...). The ideas are sound, and clear as a bell ring, but I do not feel the first breath of chill air, the soft golden leaves falling before my gently upturned face, turned towards a sky spotted with clouds...as the wind rushes in eddies past my booted feet, I stand still with my hands held wide, as if to welcome the first reprieve of fall...You see, what adding words and feelings that portray the connotations of actions can do? In truth, in those lines I really only have two actions (my upturned head and my hands spread wide) but I give the fuller picture, from top to bottom, in detail and with a somewhat soft connotation. What you did was added many actions, but little connotation. This is important in the expression of a thing as wonderful as autumn (especially since its my favorite season, dur...]]) So it might just be me being sentimental...but there you have it!

beautiful imagery here.. something for every sense... awesome job

oh pretty

i can actually feel the breath, lol. nice job

keep writing

hi! i'm frayedlifeforce on different is just so beautiful. i love the italics on the words 'tease' 'beckoning' 'drift' 'crunch' - they were just beautifully emphasised. i love the theme of this poem, it's refreshing and just work.

Beautiful. Fall is my favorite season and you pretty much captured why in this poem.

Wonderful. You do a better seasons poem than i could ever do. )

I really like this concept of 'inhale' and 'exhale'. That's what i thought was really cool about this.

Your words in italics are delicious - you've transported me to my childhood of running over piles of golden/red leaves through golden/red streets...of standing on a lookout in Mount Kosciousko, not being able to breathe due to the -5 degree winds blowing in my face, buffeting me around and challenging my balance; my hair whipping into the air and rain streaking on my nose, cheeks and eyelids because they were the only parts of my body not padded up to stop me from freezing to death on the mountain...

oh-no, i've started to write in poem in my reivew! aharhar. but you get the idea. I love this. ) Congrats.

love,Tabitha

very nice ) i like it )

This forms the thought in my mind that we were born in autumn. At the same time, I needed to read this because I've been in protest against fall this year. Great job.

P.S. Thank you for the review.

ohh.. interesting. i've never really a poem that's like this. i like the "inhale" and "exhale" sort of like starting all over in a sense

like the format (italics), adds flavor to the poem :)