Love the rhyming end rhymes and rhymes within the lines. A sweet yet twisted alibi very nice work

Nice artfully disjointed rhythm. It's shattered a little. I don't quite get what this one's about because I can't get out of my own mindset, which takes all the meaning from the words "haven" and "Under the glimmer of the haggled fears". ((Even) pain is so nice when its written?) But maybe that's it. Your imagery doesn't sustain itself--I can't see the connections between, for example, the first two lines, while individually they do mean something. Vagueness makes many of your poems into something foggy, and if you want it like that good job, but if you want to make a point I'd make it clearer.

You are creative.

yay EAP. possibly my favorite poet/author. lovelove the allusions to his works :)

hey thanks for the review

i really like this piece, the language and the whole idea behind it was well written. Keep writing :D

Nixe

this is fantastic i wish i could write a poem like this but im getting mediocre since i keep taking breaks with my writing and im never getting better lol =P keep it up

Wow. Now this.. this is real poetry. I wish I could write like this! It's beautiful. I love the rhyme scheme and just everything. Topic. Expression. Everything.

--Alex

Wow really kl thanx for posting on mine by the way nice hugs yay Sir Wilko

Wow, the flow of the poem cought me off guard, this is some good stuff.

Thsi was really pretty. Nicely flowing in a mysterious way, truly gifted piece of work.

~the Stranger in the moonlight

O i like it!

hehe very neat! I liked some of the words you used. cute and creative. come visit me again, i gotz more stuff ta read:):)

Dude thanks for the review and this is awesome! I like the rhyming and the beat... totally cool!

~Hai!!This poem is awesome.

nay your such an awesome writer

((JEALOUSY/ENVY))

KayTalk laterbye

X3 JOSH

I love it once again... beautiful !

o this seems so deep, yet so laden with irony. i really like this - the imagery is splattered everywhere.

'under the glimmer of the haggled fears'

keep it up :)