Oh my... This is fabulosa! Very reminiscent to my very own novel, Passion Dance, sentimental with a touch of classic storytelling and rich diction of descriptive choice! Even with this first chapter, I know the whole novel's going to be great! Brava! Fabulosa!

I agree with the other reviewers. Conthinue the story from the very begining. Overall the story was very well written. Loved the details.

I am not completely sure I understand this story. Why is she letting him go? What is their history? Did Luke do something wrong? Made a mistake?

It would be nice if you included some flashbacks or elaborate more on their past. From the beginning to the end, it's all about the present. It's really hard to feel for the characters when the readers don't know what the cause is.

This story would be stronger if you added more details.

Sorry. That is how I feel reading this one-short.

WickedMe

Just a one-shot? Why?

Personally, I think you should backtrack now. To when they met, when they started going out, falling in love, and then to why she's letting him go.

So this is like a one-shot piece? Its a shame though because i would like to know more about the history between the two characters. The opening line and description throughout was really detailed and amazing. Great job on this :)