|Reviews for The Pain|
| Evul Buddha 10/10/06 . chapter 3
A really great set of chapters here. I agree with your other review though the chapters could be joined together so it would flow more smoothly. I also think that this could be a really great start to a longer story if you wanted to continue it.*hugs*Sean
| Salkiethia 9/20/06 . chapter 2
You probably could have combined these two chapters into one. It's an interesting bit so far, but I'm not sure you really understood what you were writing. If you did, I think you did a poor job of sending the message across in your writing. It's easy to see the semi-colon is your favorite puncuation mark. Only use it where it's needed. Write out any number under ten. See if you can work more imagery into your writing. And get a plot that the reader can find without searching for. A plot is a good thing to have, even in an essay.