This is quite lovely, although it isn't presented the way you want it to be. I understand that problem with FP. It will not let me right align or have sup/subscripts and the ilk. Eitherway, it is a very pretty poem, it truly made me think.

Yes! Let's angst about fp's encroaching on our ability to share our pure and undiluted ideas. I hate it for not letting me indent! And I'm not even kidding here.

I love how you've portrayed the relationship of noisery and us and all our weird feelings. It's definitely very true (true not like true and false but true like true), and even more true because of the unique way you placed it. I like the loose kind of "planned unstructuredness' which fits well with the contents of your piece of writing. It's got a very nice laid-back beat to it, especially the last line, the beat working well when placed with the mention of pulses of the heart, etc. Yeah, you probably didn't even really care about anything and said. You probably disagree too. Sorry if you feel like I'm assuming or whatever.

Well, this is really great. Good luck coping with the mental damage that fp (the structuring nazi) has inflicted on you.

I can hear it.

Peace and Love

~> Lifted

jeeze. this is...woa.

dizzingly realistic. So shockingly vibrant and moving. the images, and the way they're worded are incredible.

"teeh grasp my lower lip"...such a intimate way to describe it.

and so sweet and delicate, the short lines.

this is truely wonderfu;.

Beautiful.

Really, there is very little to say because it just makes me think of something perfect and -

Yeah. This is.

~* Noelle

nicely written. it's hard to grasp at first, but it makes you think.

i like how you develop the emotions. the spacing in the beginning works well, despite this site's lack of good editing or whatever you'd like to call it.

i like it.

I loved all of this poem except for the last line. I found it didn't fit with the rest of the poem, afraid I can't be more specific. But, to repeat, I loved the rest. It was gorgeous, especially the first four lines. Unusual, beautiful, ethereal :)