It isn't too bad.. not bad at all! XDD there's some parts where the angst can show more clearly.. when i read this peom, i can't feel the angst, but i can feel that the author feels and hides angst. XDD

exactly like something I would write, only better worded!

That was really really really really really good. Kind of similar to a story I'm writing actually, now that I think about it. There's this bit that goes "the rain, the rain" but I'm rambling now so I'll stop. Great work, btw