Brilliant first chapter. Your descriptions were flawlessly detailed, as where the narrator's thoughts. Great job.

This. Is. Beautiful. I love it.

This looks quite interesting. I hope you continue it.

the way you described the restaurant was my favorite. awesome job, keep up the good work! :]

and i'm hooked...it's addictive now. i have to read it.

keep writing.

The title of this story makes me cringe... in a good way, I think. And it's so damn hard to find quality on this site and many others, but you have to be one of the best writers I've come across. When/if you finish this, publish it, and I'll buy it.

keep going...if you wanted more feed back sorry i just cant seem to explain what the story is like...but to me it sounds good...

I loved this first chapter, the beginning is deep and with every word written it almost like poetry describing the event. I hope that this only the beginning and you will continue it. I would love to know how it continues.

oh. wow.

this is pouring with imagery. i don't know what to say except that i love it.

Oh my gosh, that chapter was awesome. Keep it coming!

the details were amazing--the way you described the characters and scenery, etc.i can't wait for more.

It's a rare day when I read something that catches my attention from the opening line.

"Red, orange and yellow tears from the sweeping fall trees painted his coffin, which reflected the dim sunlight without enthusiasm." Beautiful.

I love your use of metaphors; the characters are complex and bursting with life, and I'm already finding myself waiting for the next chapter.

I really, REALLY liked this.

very nicely written, although perhaps a little too rich in figurative speech for my taste. you have a wonderful way with words.

i liked it a lot. there will be more, right?