This one is interesting. I think anybody who reads this can really relate it to something within their own lives, turning it into something altogether different. Another one well done.

Oh, creepy. Very well written! It reminds me of Jekyll & Hyde a bit, really...

Good job!

~Kyrie

I really like this poem, especially the 'conflict' stanza.

Amazing poem! I love the concept--you give us the picture of darkness and lightning, and then expand so much meaning into it. I especially like the unity of the poem, every verse flows logically from the one before it, and then the darkness is like bookends; you make a full circle. Great structure.

You do use the word "dark" a lot, which could be good or bad depending on how you look at it. It is a central theme of the poem, so obviously it will be repeated, but I generally prefer a bit more variety--mix it up a bit and use a synonym...I love thesauruses, they are ever so helpful. But, on the other hand,changing it could detract a bit from the overall feel of the poem, and make it more complex or something that is different than you want...so yeah, that point is entirely up to you...and that was my pathetic attempt at giving you some CC.

On a final note, I like how you incorporated a bit of a religious message in here (mainly with the last two verses) without making it too obvious or overbearing.

Masterful job!~SCR

thanks for the review on mine. Me and my friend made my poem up, but its not about either of us, we just made it up. its more a surreal, imaginative piece tbh, "sun sky" is just a line, meaning whatever you want it to, i thought it was good as happy freedom (sun-cliche of being happy, sky-freedom cause nothing to hold you down)

to your poem, its really good, your decription of it doenst give it justice. i love the line "New Man against Old Adam." its so contraversial, cause whats good and evil in that? are you challenging christianity-adam and eve- as evil or is it the modernn things -new man -that are evil? Good piece!

I'm pretty fond of this line: "New Man against Old Adam." It's totally original.

Thanks for the review, btw.