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| Dani P 2006-12-17 ch 2,  | abusegood story so far. some suggestions: combine your two chapters into one (perhaps a prologue) because they are small. Also read your work over and you'll fine some missused words. I believe once you used the word hard and meant the word harm. Great Story keep writing it. |
| Moondog Dozier 2006-10-17 ch 2, | abuseI like the antiquated language that you've interspersed. It gives this a timeless feel, and takes the reader deeper into the narrative through the intrigue you've established as to where, when and what is happenning. Excellent so far, as you've kept the suspense hanging in the way you've developed the progression. Interesting, and thought provoking read so far. Well done. |
| Ryumaru shogunate 2006-10-09 ch 2, | abuseI'm srry I didnt read this sooner! It's off to a great start! Jakop seems interesting... and so does this island! Please keep up the good work! I'll anxiously await the next chapter! Ryumaru |
| kathleen30263 2006-10-08 ch 2, | abuseExcellent!, as usualI like the name too. |
| braindead1345 2006-10-07 ch 2, | abuseyay! grandpa is letting him stay! ^_^ |
| Duzen Broken DreamZ 2006-10-07 ch 2, | abuseyay! MORE MORE MORE! |
| Moondog Dozier 2006-10-03 ch 1, | abuseVery well developed, as the reader is led into the narrative easily with the relatable and mysterious imagery. I like how this progressed as it kept the surreal aspect throughout by not putting too much tangibility to everything by remaining mysterious and somehat dreamlike. As for titles, the thing that struck me upon reading is Red Distance, as it details the reality-abstraction well of the situation presented. Well written. |
| Princess-anna57 2006-09-30 ch 1, | abuseWow, fascinating! I hope you'll continue this! Write on! ~Anna~ ^_^ |
| Pseudo Psam 2006-09-25 ch 1, | abuseHey, thanks for the review. And no, no cutting whatsoever. I'm not that kind of person. I liked the description you used in this story. It was very detailed, however, rather short. But length doesn't really matter so much. Now is this a short story, or will there be more? --Sam(uel) P.S. I'm not the kind of person who will read and review everything, as I am a very busy person. But I hope you will be able to read and review some more of my stuff, as I do my best to do so with yours. |
| commemorativemisery 2006-09-24 ch 1, | abusewow that's intense. reminds me of a dream i had once...it involved losts of bleeding and running from something all though i dont know what. lol that's life i guess... anyways, great job! definitely kept me hooked. as for a name, not sure i cant help u. maybe just call it plainly and simply RUN! i dunno. that's all i got lol |
| kathleen30263 2006-09-24 ch 1, | abuseExcellent! |
| braindead1345 2006-09-24 ch 1, | abuseWOW! interesting beginning...it makes you wonder where its going. more please. |
| Duzen Broken DreamZ 2006-09-24 ch 1, | abusethis was really good... no idea for a title for this either... should wait til this story ends lmfao... wow... can't wait for the next chapter... |