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| laughter at the funeral 2006-10-27 ch 1,  | abusewow, you used coffeehouses and cardigans really well and so cleverly..hearts on hips are love letters? that's awesome...you did a really good job... truly yours... |
| a headless butterfly 2006-10-20 ch 1, | abuseoh i love this. it's so succinct yet it says so much. all the lines are so beautiful. although, i like the line "i like to kiss you/ when we're naked" but i think by breaking the sentence up it makes it sound disjointed whereas the line before that was so smooth and i think breaking up the sentence broke the flow of the first paragraph? though it could just be personal opinion (: great work! |
| classic violet 2006-10-01 ch 1, | abuseshort, sweet, passionate. just lovely. |
| Holly Rose E 2006-09-28 ch 1, | abusei love little one-liners like that. it hits so much harder, and the brilliance shines more thoroughly. "i like to kiss you when we're naked". delicious. |
| Embellished Heart 2006-09-27 ch 1, | abuseYour stuff is amazin, so unusual I love all your work, your going on my favs list.Keep it up! |
| account not in use 2006-09-26 ch 1, | abusei've done that. :) the first one is sort of-cheery? naw, wrong word. accepting, content, peaceful, any one of those (or every one of them) applies. the second though-it shocks you right of the afterglow of the first and leaves you just.a.bit. breathless |
| a lonely september 2006-09-26 ch 1, | abusei really like this poem. the things you talk about are so sweet 'warm, like coffeehouses & cardigans' that's great. i like that. 'i like to kiss you when/we're naked' that's sweet. 'i draw hearts on my hips/& call them love letters' i can relate to that. seriously. and im sure a lot of people can. because i think it's one of those things. . . yknow what i mean? but yeah, that's a nice way to end it, and it added a lot to the poem. and you know what? hearts are love letter when scrawled into hips when he isn't around. |
| lackluster 2006-09-26 ch 1, | abuseit has that love-empty feeling to it. it reminds me of someone i'd rather not mention. |
| wordsworth in a garbage can 2006-09-25 ch 1, | abuseI draw hearts on my hips& call them love letters. < gorgeous. very nicely done. |
| Aimee Raven 2006-09-25 ch 1, | abuseIt's so short and so simple but just takes your breath away. I WORSHIP the second stanza..."I draw hearts on my hips and call them love letters" man...what can I say? Always mind-blown. Please keep writing, always. Love, Mia |
| poetic abortion 2006-09-25 ch 1, | abuseNumbah 2 had me, especially the second and last lines; it was amusing and sweet and loving and just romantic as romantic can be. Nicely done. ~* Noelle |