FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Ayumi Nakano 2006-09-27 ch 1,  | abuseFirst of all, I'm one of those "children". So though this might be the blunt truth in "reality", we all have dreams and thats what gets our hopes up and help us continue living without becoming too stressed out. It's the first step to becoming mature. But otherwise, great job, I enjoyed reading it and I would only like to point out one mistake- you directed the poem to the "adults who lie" at first but then to the "children" in the end also, which proved a bit confusing... |
| creativexlicense 2006-09-26 ch 1, | abuseI greatly enjoyed this...very realistic, down to earth, not really dipping in the pessimistic zone too much, or at all really. Just the blunt truth. I like. One of the reasons I like it so much is probably that I tend to have thoughts like these. |
| Vera, of The Nihilists 2006-09-26 ch 1, | abuseI liked this. Well, perhaps "liked" is the wrong word. I enjoyed it. It feels honest without dipping into that special brand of pessimism, emo. You use "You're" vs. "your" correctly. Thank you. Go eat a cookie for that one because you deserve it. |