Reviews for Dance with a Stranger

Reviews For: Dance with a Stranger - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

fantasylover6 2006-12-25 ch 12,	abuseI agree that this story is good and if you want to continue it you should. However, I don't plan on doing anything violent to keep it up. I am usually a pretty picky reader and I am really enjoying this story. I think you should keep going with it but that's just my opinion.
Renaissance Phoenix 2006-12-23 ch 12,	abuseDon't you DARE take this down! If you do, I will hunt you down and tear you into itty bitty pieces, stir fry them, and feed them to...to...to something big and ugly!
TheCaseReviewer 2006-12-21 ch 11,	abuseYour story has captured my attention and I must say, has kept it well. I have one critique, but overall I'm very intrested in the progression of your story. I'm having a bit of trouble understanding of Shia and Donovan's relationship. It's very passionate, but just seems to be missing something... depth? O, I'm just not quite sure. But, I'm hoping that it might just be a story in which all might be revealed and I'll get to see that there's just more than kisses. Have a wonderful holiday as well. Sincerely, TheCaseReviewer
Gwyn Baranof 2006-12-02 ch 11,	abuseDamn traffic. This is the third time I have typed this. About the last chapter. It seems quite useless, other than the fact that he refuses to tell her about himself and the prison. You might just want to add it to this chapter. This chapter was definitely odd, but that is what I love about them. I know I said to delay the ending, and I still want you to, but... Okay, let's be blunt. Get on with the story. I know it is a romance, but we only have a idea what the controversy is. We need to KNOW, or, at least, think we know. You know I love this story, so update soon.
Gwyn Baranof 2006-11-13 ch 10,	abuseDude, I understand. You started to sound better by the end of this note though. Anger will do that to you.
Gwyn Baranof 2006-11-04 ch 9,	abuseI agree with all the things that need to be included, but make it longer. I hate endings, and less than twenty is not enough for me. Please, drag it out. Dramatically, if need be. Don't shorten it. Anyway, about this chapter. All I have been reading today have these huge cliffhangers. I am sick of it, but, then again, I love them. I definitely want to know more about Donovan's past now. I am not sure I saw the point of the whole shower thing, but, hey, it worked.
Gwyn Baranof 2006-10-23 ch 8,	abuseYes, I have, and I plan to do the same until your story is over. I think this chapter still worked pretty well. I want to know more about the plot sooner, though. Still love it.
Gwyn Baranof 2006-10-17 ch 7,	abuseI think I could feel that it didn't go as planned. I would not say that it is bad, but it seems awkward.
Gwyn Baranof 2006-10-09 ch 6,	abuseYes, a plot. I was wondering when things were going to start coming. To answer your last question, which I forgot to in the last reveiw. I was proud of not liking love stories. I always found the plot boring, among many other things. I really like this story and writing, so do not disappoint me.
Gwyn Baranof 2006-10-05 ch 5,	abuseI like the new chapter. Odd, though. It fit, but didn't make much sense. I kind of agree with L. Mirabeau, but look at it this way. People tend to look at other people with a bias view. They tend to either see only the perfections or only the imperfections. They do not want to see the other and, so, don't. Keep writing. It takes time.
persephoneal naiad 2006-10-02 ch 1,	abuseWow, I think L Mirabeau's constructive critisism is quite interesting, and I think I may employ some of it for my own writing; however I think the idea of Donovan was to be quite a dramatic character...maybe, maybe not. By the way, that update was wonderfully long!
Gwyn Baranof 2006-10-02 ch 4,	abuseWhat is with this? I don't like love stories. I was proud of it. Not much to improve on. Now, anyway. Keep writing.
L Mirabeau 2006-10-01 ch 1,	abuseok. i'm sorry to say it, but there are a number of problems with this so far: no one likes a perfect heroine. "Her kindness was inspiring, and so great and sincere that it was almost resented." you said it yourself; i find it impossibly hard to identify with someone as good as all that and i think many readers feel the same. we look at the character and think 'are they for real, can they be real? they're not human' jane austen, when talking of one of her characters (anne from Persuasion), knew this problem. she said something along the lines of 'she is almost too good' and anne, btw, was far from perfect eg. she didn't stand up for herself, she was easily persuaded, not so strong-willed as other heroines. secondly, your writing has a tendance towards the melodramatic (i suffer from this myself- though worse. someone told me they thought i was writing parody! and i'd meant it seriously.) i noticed it the moment i read the summary. ""Exactly who do you think betrayed you" the true villain asked, an aggravated and embittered tone to his voice. "She wouldn't," he replied, and his eyes darkened swiftly." 'his eyes darkened swiftly' etc - it all comes across as melodramatic. don't overstate things. exaggerating emotions can cheapen them. so why do i respond when most of what i say is negative? (i'm sorry, btw, i know how awful it must be to read criticism). well, your writing, the actual style, the language employed, is quite good. you could potentially write an excellent story, your technique is good enough. it's just that the character here, and the slightly melodramatic tone, detract from it.
persephoneal naiad 2006-09-29 ch 3,	abuseAw, thats OK! I am liking the update, and as I read more, I am beginning to think this story quite odd. Not a bad odd- a good one. Hm- what is the word- oh yes: unique! Please update!
Gwyn Baranof 2006-09-29 ch 3,	abuseAlways nice to know where you are going. It also doesn't leave me screaming in frustration. I love the way you so cunningly write and use your vocabulary. I can't say I have any type of criticism or improvements on this chapter. If you want some, I guess you will just have to write more. The instance with Donovan and Shia made me have this awkward feeling that I do not know if you meant to put it there, but it worked perfectly. Exceptional writing.

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