write more!

I'm impressed. This made for a good introductory scene. You've managed to hold my attention and intrigue me into reading more (only if there was more. Hint hint!)
Doctors tend to be more well-spoken. Instead of saying "Probably the reason your wife submitted" say, "That is probably why..." Just a suggestion for your next scene when the man appears.

I am not a gramaphobe so I can't help you with grammar. But I would suggest a bit more imagery only if it would not affect the narration or the flow of the story.

Good job and keep up the good work.

Wow, kiddo, this sounds like a really good start. Keep me updated. I'm intrigued!

Good so far, yet depending on the year (if you do mention it) it'd be a bit hard to believe if it was too close t our own time. Pretty intriguing.

wow, this story is really fascinating so far. i can't wait to see where you're going with it. i spotted a few grammar/spelling errors, but nothing too serious. the content is really intriguing. update soon!

This one sounds interesting. You have a fine line to walk between what is believable and what is not. But if you do so, it will make a good story.

phantom_jedi