FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Orual 2006-11-01 ch 1,   | Heh, I rather like your repeated stanza. The first time, it got a head tilt right up until the fourth line, but I did catch the point. I love the spiritual twist on "emo" poetry, or, at least, I think that's what you're getting at with the parenthesis. Anyway. Nice job. I liked it. |
| Frore 2006-09-28 ch 1, | Not a bad poem. My primary criticism is that you use many large words that tend to compete with eachother. This is advice that another poet told me, as well as my grandfather. If a smaller word will get the job done, use it. If something more... shall we say... aureate, is necessary, then don't feel afraid to show off your crafty language. ... On that note, "poliferate" is not a word. Did you mean "proliferate"? And I don't think "infantile" makes sense there, but maybe "nascency"? Keep up the good work, and keep reading that dictionary. *hugs Merriam Webster* |