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| xxcanyouseemexx 2008-05-01 ch 18,  | abusei like it! update son x |
| Wesley Kelly 2007-01-15 ch 14, | abuseWell, that sucks for Nathan. I hope that everything works out for Charlotte and the party and she can get her homework done. |
| Wesley Kelly 2006-12-08 ch 13, | abuseOne critique I do have for this story is that it moves too slowly. Not much has happened and very few of the plot twists are being developed. Otherwise, it is well written. |
| Wesley Kelly 2006-12-03 ch 12, | abuseThis is a very good story, though I doubt a (12-year-old) girl would ever be entrusted with the care of a 5-year-old for more than a day. Are there any relatives or close family friends anywhere? Even if the mother is only sick, it sounds as though she's been sick for a while and it's about time to call child services. However, it is well written, even if the plot is moving very slowly. I see the part with the father being killed moving, but not so much with Charlotte. Update soon. |
| xx-cronopio-xx 2006-10-02 ch 1, | abuseMs. Becca di Beppo Esq.: Sounds intriguing. I'll be keeping up with this one. Does the novel deal predominantly with her father's death? Oh well, I suppose I'll have to wait until the next chappie ... I'm presuming he was murdered, but I can't be sure. a few grammatical and/or structural mistakes: "fed she and her brother" should be "fed her brother and herself;" there should be an apostrophe between the "t" and "s" in "hearts;" repetition of word "theaters" in the same sentence; repetition of the phrase "three months prior" in the same sentence. Will be looking forward to reading the next chapter! *sh ... I'm supposed to be working on my AdGeom homework ...*Adieu, Kat :) |