That was great! But what was the deal with the paper tossing? Well, I laughed until I cried. Keep up the good work, E.

interesting. i like the uniqueness of the story. but the scenes seem to move a little fast. nonetheless, nice creative piece.

It read well and held my attention but I thought it lacked something at how easily everyone accepted the death of Luke. It appeared as if Tom should have been more upset that his father died and he wasn't. And in fact, although you never wrote it in, it almost felt as if Tom was the one who arranged his father's death.